Joan's Events In Australia

10/1/15 update: I've been home a week now, and I'm still digesting everything I learned and figuring out how to share the experience and ideas with you. I'll post again soon. Thanks for your patience! -- Joan

9/6/2015: I'm in Australia meeting with groundbreaking sex educators and activists who are dedicated to the goal of sexual pleasure and sexual rights for everyone through the life span. I've been invited to speak at seven (7!) events in Melbourne, Sydney, and Bendigo. They're listed on my events page, and I'm copying them here for your convenience. If you're in or near one of these cities, please come meet me! Special thanks to the inaugural Let's Talk about Sex conference for making this happen!

Monday, September 7, 7-9 pm: Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Hares and Hyenas, 63 Johnston Street, Fitzroy, Victoria 3065, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $25AUD/$20AUD in advance, or $30AUD at door.

September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is a keynote speaker for the inaugural conference Let’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002,  Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life. This Conference will promote discussion that aims to improve the health and emotional wellbeing of older people through recognition of their rights to sexual expression. It will challenge society’s failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing. Topics such as sexual and gender diversity, sexual consent and sexuality among people with cognitive impairment will be discussed as we highlight the importance of relationships and intimacy as we age. It will also address the challenges encountered by carers in residential and community care.


September 10, 2015, 12:45-1:45 pm: Joan Price: Naked at Our Age  at the Wheeler Centre, 176 Little Lonsdale St., Melbourne Victoria 3000 Australia. ‘If you want your sexual exuberance to match mine three decades after age 40, start listening to your elders’. That’s the advice American author Joan Price gave to Miley Cyrus in a 2013 open letter, after Cyrus announced that over-40s don’t have sex. In 2011, Price wrote Naked at Our Age: Talking out loud about senior sex, which explored the challenges, delights, surprises and frustrations of sex for older people. The book was praised for its warmth and humour as well as its practical, no-nonsense advice. Price will talk about sex – and seniors – with Australian sex therapist, educator and media commentator Cyndi Darnell. Join us for a candid, funny, grown-up and possibly sexy conversation. Free, reservations recommended.

Mon., Sept. 14, 2015, 5:30-7:30 pm, Ask Us About Sex after 50! with Joan Price and Linda Kirkman at Visual Arts Centre, 21 View St., Bendigo, Vic 3550, Australia. Yes, sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges: health issues, a solo life, the predictable sex that comes with longtime relationships, discomfort with changing bodies, lack of desire, dating at our age. But sex after midlife can also be hot and joyful if we learn, adapt, and explore what works for us. Let’s throw out the stereotypes and the old expectations that may not serve us anymore. We’ll cover relationship diversity, sexual health, fitting bodies together when they don't function or feel like they used to, and much more. Joan and Linda will debunk the myths, answer your questions, and send you home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex -- with or without a partner. If you are over 50, or you plan to be, or you work with the older population, you’ll get your questions answered in this lively presentation. Tickets $20AUD/$15AUD. For more info, email Linda Kirkman.


Wed., Sept. 16, 2015, 6:30-8:30 pm, What Your Clients are NOT Asking You about Sex: Talking About Senior Sex for Medical Professionals and Therapists, presented by the Society of Australian Sexologists. About half of all sexually active men and women aged 57 to 85 in the United States report at least one bothersome sexual problem; one third report at least two. Yet only 38 percent of men and 22 percent of women reported having discussed sex with a health professional since the age of 50. Why this information barrier? What can you, as professionals, do to overcome it with your patients and clients? Joan Price shares their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears, and what they wish their doctors, therapists, and other professionals and educators would help them resolve. Joan will address the 'extra mile' that sex therapists can go in helping their clients/patients. Venue: Level 3, 50 York Street, Sydney, Australia. $20AUD for SAS Members; $30AUD for non-members. RSVP sas-nsw@societyaustraliansexologists.org.au or drop-in.


Mon., Sept. 21 and Tues., Sept. 22, 2015, 7-9 pm: Great Sex after Fifty: two workshops with Joan Price, author of The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50. Sydney's Max Black presents author and educator Joan Price (USA) appearing in-store at Max Black  264 King St, Newtown NSW 2042, Australia, for two very special workshops designed to help you navigate the world of sex, dating and relationships after 50. These intimate and fun workshops will give you the chance to ask questions and get answers. Tickets: $20AUD here. Please arrive at 6:45 and settle in with a glass of champagne.

• Sept. 21: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex & Aging: Sex after 50 - the challenges, pleasures and answers to all the questions we don’t think we can ask out loud. Sex has changed but it can still be spicy and very satisfying, with the right information. An eye-popping, interactive, empowering mixed-gender workshop designed to help you have great sex after 50, 60, 70 & beyond.


• Sept. 22: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? Dating after 50 can feel awkward & weird. What are the guidelines? Should you lie about your age? How do avoid pitfalls & handle rejection? What about safer sex with a new person? Whether you’re widowed, divorced or a longtime single this fun workshop will be illuminating, plus you’ll find out how others our age meet & mate.

MiMi Soft: Cushy Tip Vibrator

Many of us like strong vibrations, but we don't like a hard toy pressing against our increasingly delicate genitals. A vibrator that presses against the clitoris with a bit of cushioning is just right, and the new MiMi Soft Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator by Je Joue from Good Vibrations does exactly that.

The vibrator is firm and smooth, ABS plastic covered with a layer of silicone except that the tip is soft and cushy. Thank you, Je Joue. You have to press the tip hard against you to feel the "give" of it, but that's often a natural action anyway as arousal rises. The soft tip makes the MiMi Soft  an improvement over the original MiMi. I liked that one, but this one wins hands down... or hands on.

The MiMi Soft is smooth and tiny enough (3 1/2" long x 2 1/4" wide x 1 1/4" thick) to fit in the palm of your hand. If you're using it with a partner, it fits easily between two bodies without getting in the way. It's completely waterproof for use in the tub or shower, which is a delight.

MiMi Soft has five vibration settings and it's supposed to have six patterns. I don't care about patterns -- I prefer steady and strong -- so I didn't even notice that center button that controls the patterns didn't work on mine. I've read other reviews and never read about that issue, so I'll have to assume that this was just a problem with mine. (If I cared about it, of course Good Vibrations would replace it.)

I complained about the strength it took to press the buttons of the original MiMi, and although this one isn't as difficult, it still needs pressure. When your fingers are lubed up, it's impossible to feel the difference between the "+" and the "-" buttons, so you might have to grab your reading glasses and memorize which side is which so you don't accidentally turn it down when you're trying to turn it up.

Charging is easy with the magnetic charger. Plug it in, charge it for two hours or less, and you're good to go with no cords in your way.

Is it strong enough? You know me -- I like really strong vibrations. This one is not as strong as my favorite vibrators, but it does pack a punch for its size and the vibrations feel really good, less buzzy than most. For those of us who travel, the size is right!

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the MiMi Soft Rechargeable Waterproof Vibrator in return for an honest review. Right now it comes with a free silky blindfold.

The Right Side of History by Adrian Brooks: book review

I have an unalienable, constitutional and natural right to love whom I may...and with that right neither you nor any law you can frame have any right to interfere...I trust that I am fully understood, for I mean just that. 

-- Victoria Hull, 1871

The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQI Activism, edited by Adrian Brooks, should be in every bookstore and library and adopted as a textbook in every college-level, American history course.

Adrian Brooks has assembled a formidable body of work that chronicles the events and the people who have worked towards and spoken out for gay liberation and LGBT issues since before Stonewall. Yes, before Stonewall.

I was born in 1943. It hit me hard to realize these injustices were happening during my childhood:

• In 1948, homosexuality and adultery were criminal, masturbation purportedly caused mental illness, and premarital sex was deemed shameful. But Kinsey showed such “perverted activities” to be prevalent, thereby torpedoing a cozy concept of manhood rigorously reinforced. The nation reeled.
• In 1950, a Senate subcommittee issued a report, calling homosexuals a threat to national security...Even the appearance of homosexuality—butch women, effeminate men—became grounds for firing and arrest...it was still a crime to be a gay man or lesbian with myriad sodomy and lewdness laws on the books.
• In 1953, one of President Eisenhower’s first actions in office was to issue an executive order barring all gays, lesbians, and bisexuals from federal employment. 
• Cops would walk in slowly like they owned the place, eyeballing everyone, pushing people with nightsticks. If they put you in a paddy wagon, you’d be hauled off to the Tombs (jail). If they put you in a car, they’d take you to some alley or empty parking lot, make you suck their dick, take all your clothes, throw them in the trunk of their car, and tell you to go home naked.

Look at the diversity of topics and the big names in the table of contents:

Part I: Before Stonewall

• The Divine Discontent of Isadora Duncan by Adrian Brooks 

• Henry Gerber’s Bridge to the World by Hayden L. Mora 

• The 1934 Longshoremen’s Strike by Adrian Brooks 

• The Cradle Will Rock by Eric A. Gordon 

• Bayard Rustin: Offensive Lineman for Freedom by Patricia Nell Warren

• The Kinsey Reports by Anahi Russo Garrido

• Criminals and Subversives: The Mattachine Society and Daughters of Bilitis by Victoria A. Brownworth 

• The Beats: Allen Ginsberg and Jack Kerouac by Neeli Cherkovski

• Frank Kameny: Advocate for Freedom by John D’Emilio

• Josephine Baker’s Dream without Fire or War: An Interview with Jean-Claude Baker by Adrian Brooks

• April 4, 1968 by Adrian Brooks

• Ground Zero by Miss Major Griffin-Gracy

Part II: After Stonewall

• The Revolutionary Joy of Gary Alinder by Paul Gabriel

• Lesbian Nation: Jill Johnston and the Revolution of Women by Victoria A. Brownworth

• The Angels of Light: Paris Sites Under the Bourgeois Sea by Adrian Brooks

• Anita Bryant’s Anti-Gay Crusade by Jeanne Córdova

• “The Mayor of Castro Street” by Adrian Brooks

• Interview with Charlotte Bunch: Human Rights and Gender Equality by Anahi Russo Garrido

• The Enemy Is Me: Becoming a Man inside a Feminist World by Max Wolf Valerio

• My Battle with the University of California by Merle Woo

• The Quilt by Julie Rhoad

• The Red Camaro by Matt Ebert

• Between the Sexes by Tiger Howard Devore

• A Hero in Search of a Myth: The Navajo Journey of Jack C. Jackson, Jr. by Max Wolf Valerio

• Interview with Judy Shepard: Remembering Matthew Shepard by Adrian Brooks

• Interview: Barney Frank by Brenda Knight and Adrian Brooks

• Black, Gay, and Muslim by Sultan Shakir

• Bullying by James Gilliam

• A Conversation with Evan Wolfson: Freedom to Marry Leader by Angela Dallara

• Diana Nyad by Rita Mae Brown

• Our Lives, Our Words: Newspapers, Bookstores, and Gay Liberation by Victoria A. Brownworth

I recognized many of the writers and subjects -- others were new to me, and I'm grateful to know them now. Most of the writers in of The Right Side of History: 100 Years of LGBTQI Activism are of our generation. We grew up not knowing this information. Let's change that now. I hope you'll read this book and purchase another for a friend. I did.



Adrian Brooks (born 1947, 68 at the time of the book release), who curated this book and wrote several of its essays, is a social and political activist, poet, performer and writer who has been working for change since the 1960s.

Getting Your Mojo Back: Excerpt from The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50

Getting Your Mojo Back

Excerpt from 

The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50: 

How to Maintain - or Regain - a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life 

by Joan Price  

I used to be eager for sex, easily aroused. My desire dipped after menopause and now barely exists. I can go weeks or more without desiring sex or thinking much about it. The funny thing is, if I get started, I like it, but it’s so hard to get in the mood. 

 The number one sex problem that I hear from women is the lack of desire for sex. They do still enjoy sex once they get started, they tell me, but they’re seldom in the mood ahead of time. It isn’t just a problem for women—many men also report decreased desire—but for women, it’s the primary complaint. The problem is that if we wait for the mood and don’t make sexual pleasure a priority, we’ll rarely have sex.

There are lots of reasons that you may be feeling decreased desire, but let’s cut to a solution that works first, and figure out the reasons afterward:

 Instead of waiting for the mood, start getting yourself sexually aroused—on your own, with a partner, or with a vibrator. Just do it. The physiological arousal will trigger the emotional desire.

That’s the opposite of the way it used to work! When we were younger, our hormone-induced sex drive bombarded our brain and body with desire—especially during our most fertile times. This was simple biology. A glance, a thought, a murmur, a fantasy, or a touch sparked the mood. Once in the mood, we opened ourselves to the pleasures of physiological arousal. We got turned on, our arousal built, and we crashed joyously into orgasm.

 But now, this all works the other way around. Instead of waiting forever for the mood to strike, we can induce the mood by letting ourselves get physiologically aroused as the first step. Arousal will lead to mood and desire, instead of vice versa. Here are your new mantras:

• Desire follows action. 
• Use it, don’t lose it. 
• Just do it. 

“You may have just saved my marriage,” a woman told me after I gave this suggestion at a presentation. Try it—you may feel the same!

 What to Do Instead of Waiting to Be in the Mood 

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to approach our sexuality in this new way: Relax, start getting physically aroused, emotional arousal will happen, and voila, we’ll be in the mood. So the key is to commit to regular sexual pleasure, partnered or solo. How does this translate to real life? Here are some tips:

• Schedule sex dates with your partner and/or with yourself at least weekly, more is even better. 
• Exercise before sex for faster arousal and easier orgasms.
• Create rituals with your partner that signal sex would be welcome. 
• Allow plenty of arousal time -- no rushing, no goals except pleasure. 
• Make sexual arousal and orgasm a habit, whether you're partnered or on your own. 

Make sexual pleasure a habit. Give yourself sexual pleasure frequently, and you'll find that you'll become aroused more easily and enjoy sex more! 

Learn more about 

The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50.

Order here for an autographed copy, purchase from your local independent bookstore, or order from Amazon.

Best Sex Writing of the Year 2015 review

I love the Best Sex Writing series from Cleis Press. I've been a loyal reader since the first edition in 2005. I collect them, give them as gifts, read them cover to cover. This year's edition (titled inexplicably "Best Sex Writing of the Year, volume 1" instead of "2015"), edited by Jon Pressick, has the breadth and quality I've come to expect.

Realize that this series isn't erotica (although Cleis is known for erotica) -- it's a collection of non-fiction essays about all colors and stripes of sex-themed topics. Some of the essays are intensely personal (e.g. my own contribution, "Sharing Body Heat"), some are commentary on sexual issues in the news, some are sex-nerdy opinions, many open windows to sexual practices and worlds that might be new to you.

The best way to convey the range of topics and writers is to share the chapter titles with quotes from a few of them:

• Foreword • Belle Knox
• Captain Save-A-Ho • Fiona Helmsley
• How a Former Porn Star’s Sex Tape Helped Him Reclaim His Sex Life • Christopher Zeischegg aka Danny Wylde: "I'd done it a thousand times with people I'd barely met, and in the most stressful environments. Yet, I couldn't get my cock hard while in bed with the girl I loved."
• What Should We Call Sex Toys? • Epiphora: "I own over five hundred dildos, vibrators, and anal toys, which I routinely hold against my vulva (not my 'lady bits'), stick in my vagina (not my 'vajayjay'), press against my clitoris (not my 'love button') and push up my butt (not my 'backdoor')."
• We Need a New Orientation to Sex • Cory Silverberg
• I Am the Blogger Who Allegedly “Complicated” the Stuebenville Gang Rape Case—And I Wouldn’t Change a Thing • Alexandria Goddard
• Porn Director: I Changed My Mind about Condoms • Nica Noelle
• Pregger Libido • Ember Swift
• The White Kind of Body • Alok Vaid-Menon
• Sex, Lies and Public Education • Lynn Comella
• Sharing Body Heat • Joan Price
• Being a Real-Life Accomplice • Cameryn Moore
• Oops, I Slept with Your Boyfriend • Charlie Nox
• Pump Dreams • Mitch Kellaway: "I don't have a clitoris. Or, rather, I used to have one. But since starting my gender transition a year ago, my relationship to it has become quite complex."
• Prostitution Law and the Death of Whores • Laura Agustín
• Fisting Day • Jiz Lee: "What I love about fisting someone vaginally is feeling them take me in. There's a moment where the person just opens up to you. Once inside, they're so warm, wet, and every little movement you make can be felt."
• Tell Me You Want Me. • Mollena Williams: "What about submitting, what about service, what about taking a thorough flogging, what about menial chores, what about being useful, is sexy? Why is it eroticized? What makes it hot? In a word? Passion."
• The Gates • Tina Horn
• The Choice of Motherhood and Insidious Drugstore Signage • Stoya
• Kinky, Sober and Free: BDSM in Recovery • Rachel Kramer Bussel: "Can you be clean and sober and still engage kinkily?"
• Crazy Trans Woman Syndrome • Morgan M. Page
• Let’s Talk about Interracial Porn • Jarrett Neal
• When I Was a Birthday Present for an Eighty-Two-Year-Old Grandmother • David Henry Sterry [see below]
• What an Armpit Model Taught Me about Sexual Language • Jon Pressick
• Growing Through the Yuck • Ashley Manta
• I Was a Teenage Porn Model • Lux Alptraum
• Disability and Sex • Jason Armstrong
• Fumbling Towards Humanity: How “Trans Grrrls” Helped Me Open Up to My Partner • Amy Dentata
• In Defense of Celibacy • Lauren Marie Fleming aka Queerie Bradshaw: "There are times in your life when a quick fuck can be beneficial, but sometimes all sex does is add to the confusion that is life. Sex with others muddies the emotional waters; take sex away and there's a better chance of finding clarity within yourself."
• No Restrictions • Dee Dee Behind: "My very first session with a client with severe disabilities was while I was working as a professional dominatrix on the third floor of a dungeon in an elevator-less building."

Jon Pressick

Who could resist a book with this range of topics from such a variety of writers, sex educators, performers, sex workers, and other juicy, sex-positive activists? As Pressick puts it,

Some of the topics you will read about here are very specific while others speak to all of us. Bringing them together is an attempt to throw open those doors. Pull the thoughts out from under the mattresses. Talk about sex in meaningful, thoughtful and creative ways.

David Sterry

One of my favorite essays -- you might guess this! -- was "When I Was a Birthday Present for an Eighty-Two-Year-Old Grandmother." Author David Sterry was 17 when he was hired as a sexy birthday gift for a woman who was 65 years his senior. Although he told his employer yes, his brain was imagining "an ancient naked wrinkled saggy droopy granny spread-eagled in front of me and my poor placid flaccid penis ...a lifeless piece of useless meat... What if she wants to do some weird old person sex thing I don't know about?" The experience, of course, was nothing like his nightmare-fantasy, but I don't want to reveal more and ruin the surprise.



I consider myself a sex geek. I'm interested in all things sexual. Whether or not I'm personally interested in exploring a particular behavior, belief, or milieu, my mind wants to take it all in. This book really satisfied my sex geekery. Thank you, Jon, contributors, and Cleis Press.

Order Best Sex Writing from your local independent bookstore or at this Amazon link.

Blogging about Senior Sex since 2005!

I've been blogging about senior sex since October 2005, when the topic was rarely discussed or written. My first senior sex book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty, was about to be published. I don't remember why I started a senior sex blog except that no one else was writing one.

My first post was read by 30 people.  Ouch, my first two months of posts averaged 22 readers each. It was a lonely endeavor.

But I stuck with it, learned what you wanted to read about and how to reach you, and, thank you, you started following this blog to get news and views about older-age sexuality. Now it's not rare that a post gets thousands of readers, occasionally 10,000 to 40,000. These days, you come here most often to read my sex toy reviews and to find information about concerns such as erectile problems, vaginal pain and how to enhance sexual pleasure.

I'm amused that the most-read post (48,000 readers) was titled "Looking for 'Granny Sex'?"  -- when the whole point of that 2007 post was asking why so many people used "granny sex" as the search term that led them to my blog! Now that there's so much "granny porn" advertised, searchers of "granny sex" no longer land on my blog. I suppose that's a good thing.


Over the ten years since starting this blog, I've written two more senior sex self-help guides and edited an anthology of senior erotica. Learn more here.

I no longer feel like a solitary voice. Other writers, speakers, and organizations have joined me in spreading the word that older-age sexuality can be a source of lifelong pleasure. We're now a movement.

Thank you all for following this blog and continuing to support my mission. Do you remember how you first found this blog, what you were hoping to find, or what captured your interest? I'd love to know. Please comment.

Are you having sex? What does that mean?

It's important for us to redefine what we mean by "having sex" and being "sexually active," especially with our changing bodies, relationships, and circumstances as we age.

In my view, "having sex" means doing whatever arouses and pleases us sexually, whether partnered (any gender) or solo, with or without sex toys, with or without orgasm, in any manner that turns us on. 

Did I leave out anything? 

It's annoying and it doesn't serve us when "having sex" or "sexually active" only refers to partnered sex, and especially when it only refers to PIV (penis in vagina) sex. Media, researchers, survey takers, doctors, please take note!

I'd like to invite a discussion here. Answer #1 and any of the others that interest you with as much information as you're willing to share:

• How old are you, and how would you define "having sex" or being "sexually active" at this age?
• Do you consider solo sex to be "real" sex? Why or why not?
• If you were surveyed about whether you are sexually active, how would you answer? What would you mean by that answer?
• Has your doctor or other medical professional asked you about whether you're sexually active? 
• If you asked your doctor or other medical professional about a sex-related concern? How did that go?

 

Please post your answers as comments here, or if you're confused about how to do that, email me with "post on blog for me" as your subject header, and I'll do it for you. (Include a first name of your choice -- it doesn't have to be your own.)

Thank you. I look forward to sharing views with you about this important topic.

#AdultSexEdMonth