Why is Sex Better After 50?

If you're over 50, how is sex better now than in your youthful decades? I don't mean just the physical part of sex -- also your emotional response, ease of communication, less fear, less self-consciousness? I'd love to hear from you.

I asked this on my Naked at Our Age Facebook page, which I hope you'll visit and "like." We so often hear aging discussed in terms of what we lose, what hurts, what doesn't work anymore, what is falling away. But on the glass-half-full side, aging is filled with changes that are beautiful and fulfilling. My question aimed to elicit some of those thoughts, and indeed that happened. Here are some excerpts from readers' comments:

• Enjoying. Embracing every single moment and soaking it all in. Losing all the inhibitions, life is short and here to be lived. It's no longer a race but a truly pleasurable shared experience. 
• It's all about the communication. I feel comfortable expressing what I like and talking all about sex. 
• Openness, adventure, self acceptance, passion. 
• I think by the time you’re in your 50s, you’ve established what you enjoy in a sexual relationship. A person knows what their partner likes, responds to and gives back. In youth you just wing it.
• Not selfish. 
• Touch is an integral part of the experience for me and I teach my partner how to touch me and where and I do the same for him. I'm much more excited about exploring than I ever was in my younger days. Yes, much fewer inhibitions especially around my body and my body image. I'm less concerned with having an orgasm (because I can get that on my own) and much more focused on enjoying all the sensations. 
• Discovered that trust on all levels is a major aphrodisiac.
• Sex in my 70s is relaxed, playful, fun, unhurried, experimental, and made wonderful by open, easy, frank communication with my partner about what we each do and don't like. Feelings of closeness and trust form significant parts of the overall experience, and our orgasms are happily extended as we pleasure one another without stress or anxiety or rush. Now is the best age in my entire life for uncomplicated, completely happy, and totally delightful sex! 

I hope you'll want to comment and add your thoughts. 

Pocket Pulse - New Pleasure for Your Penis

If you've read the raves about the Pulse "guybrator," but buying one didn't fit your budget, this is your lucky day. The Pocket Pulse is a smaller, modified, affordable model. At the time of this writing, The Pulse III Solo oscillates and costs $119 from Hot Octopuss; the Pocket Pulse vibrates and costs $85.

But does the Pocket Pulse work as well as the bigger models? I asked Shamus MacDuff, age 74, to take it for a ride (or two or three or ten). Did he like it? Oh, yeah. Here's what he had to say:

The Pocket PULSE 

Reviewed by Shamus MacDuff

The Pocket Pulse is a keeper, and the more I use it, the more I love it. It’s a delightful adjunct to solo masturbation, Think of it as a sex toy for penises comparable to the many sex toys for vulvas that focus on the clitoris. A tool for your tool!

I've tried the Pulse III solo, and believe it or not, I prefer the Pocket Pulse. Both produce plenty of vibration on the frenulum but the kind of vibration differs. I especially like that the Pocket Pulse has a vibrating “gripper” across the top that when squeezed down stimulates the ridge of the cock from above.

When I first tried it, I didn’t use any lube (my mistake!), and I think I anticipated that it would give me more of a jolt than it did. Then I added water-based lube, which greatly increased the buzz and the pleasure. (I know, I should have read the directions -- "use plenty of lubricant" -- but the print is minuscule and instructions seemed intuitive.) Adding lube greatly heightened the erotic feeling and led me towards a crescendo.

Pulse III and Pocket Pulse:
size difference

The Pulse III worked either stroking or just holding it in place over my frenulum. The Pocket Pulse, though, requires stroking. Not a problem once I learned I needed to rub it up and down my shaft instead of holding it there. Then Waiting for Godot turned into Rushing Towards Nirvana.

The Pocket Pulse is waterproof and thus very easy to clean or enjoy in the shower. (It would be interesting to use it in the pool, but I don't think my health club would like that.)

I enjoyed it solo, but a big turning point for me was when my sex partner stimulated me with it to an explosive and deeply satisfying orgasm. Hence it is an excellent sex toy for both solo and partnered delight. Also it holds a charge for a long time. Bravo to Hot Octopuss!

[Read other posts by Shamus MacDuff here.]

Note from Mr. MacDuff's sex partner:

You'd think a 74-year-old man would take quite a while to reach orgasm (I'm not complaining, just observing), but not when the Pocket Pulse enters the action! Put it on (whether he's erect or not), turn it on, squeeze for intensified contact, stroke, turn up the vibrations, match the rhythm of his thrusts, and it's orgasm time. If your guy likes hand stimulation but you have wrist arthritis -- or even if you just enjoy giving him a quickie -- the Pocket Pulse may become your best friend!

See reviews on this blog of other Pulse penis vibrators:

• The Pulse, the King of Penis Vibrators

• Pulse II Duo and Solo: Reviews from our contest winners 

And here's a video I made about all the Pulse products by Hot Octopuss: