Sunday, April 5, 2015

Are you a senior who dates? Or wants to?

The Number of Seniors Having Sex is on the RiseOne of my most popular workshops is "How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?" As seniors, newly single or maybe seems-like-forever single, we face special challenges trying to connect for love, sex, intimacy, companionship, friendship, social activities, or some combination of these. Whenever I speak to audiences over 50, 60, 70+, some of the most common questions I'm asked are these:

  1. How do I meet someone? (This question is asked 90% of the time.)
  2. Do I have to tell the truth about my age?
  3. How do I write an online dating profile?
  4. Why do I get (a) no responses from online dating; or (b) lots of responses from the wrong people?
  5. How do I find out early on if a potential date will want to be sexual without coming across as creepy/ slutty/ scary?
  6. If I have a first date with someone I don't want to see again, is it ok to just "disappear" and ignore future messages from this person?
  7. How do I handle rejection?

Each of these questions needs and deserves more space than part of a blog post to answer -- except for #2 (yes, please, even though most people don't) and #6 (no, craft a simple and kind message about not being a match, no need to explain why).

I discuss dating at length in my newest book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex after 50, including much of the information and tips from my workshop. I've also written more than 60 blog posts on dating -- start here and keep selecting "older posts" when you scroll down to the bottom of the displayed posts.  If you'd like me to write a more detailed post answering any of the questions above, or a new question, please write your request as a comment on this post.

I'm happy to see that other online resources address senior dating. Dating Senior Men is a lively and often instructive blog about dating and sex by Sienna Jae Fein, an over-60 widow.

'"Love knows no season and therefore knows no difference."' DatingAdvice.com, which offers advice from dating experts, has a section especially for seniors. For example, DatingAdvice.com's "5 Senior Dating Rules You HAVE to Follow" suggests ways that you can get out and be active in the dating world. I would add to this brief article that even if you don't "meet someone" doing these activities, you'll have a fuller, richer, more enjoyable life. Then when you do meet someone in the future, you'll come across as fulfilled and active, which is much more appealing than seeming depressed and desperate.

“The Ulitmate Guide to Sex After 50″: Joan Price’s Groundbreaking BookI was delighted when DatingAdvice.com wanted to review my new book and interview me in an article by Hayley Matthews titled
“The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50″: Joan Price’s Groundbreaking Book. “Our sexuality isn’t just about what happens when our genitals connect, or try to," I'm quoted as saying. "It weaves into how we feel about ourselves and our bodies, what we want from our next relationship, what we learned from our last one(s). So yes, the information about dating, solo sex and sex with a new person are all part of what we may go through as we age.”

(Several writers have sent me their books about senior dating, and I keep intending to do a roundup of these. Forgive me, writers -- so many projects, so little time. I'll let you know when I catch up.)

Thank you, DatingAdvice.com, for use of the images in this post.


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